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Wrong News

Are you used to finding things funny, only to have other people stare at you aghast? I'm not talking about Two Pints Of Shit And A Packet Of Shit, I'm talking about darkly comic masterpieces like these:
A woman who hired a hitman to kill her has been awarded £2,000 because she is still alive

Kevin Reeves, 40, was jailed for 15 months and ordered to pay £2,000 compensation after accepting £20,000 from a friend so depressed that she asked him to find a hitman to murder her. He even offered to do it himself, but got no further than pocketing the money.

There could be no prosecution for murder or manslaughter because nothing ever happened. But the intended victim, clearly annoyed at being still alive, filed a complaint for breach of contract. A jury found Reeves guilty of deception at the end of a case that even the prosecution conceded was bizarre.

A 14-year-old boy started a fire which killed his 11-year-old sister because he wanted to be adopted by a rich family, the Old Bailey heard

The youth allegedly set the family's south London home alight in April 2004, in an attempt to kill his parents. But they escaped with his 16-year-old sister. His brother, 12, also survived despite being attacked with an axe. The teenager, now 16, who cannot be named because of his age, denies murder, attempted murder and arson.

Sir Allan told the court a list entitled Operation New Life was found under the defendant's bed. The prosecutor said it read: "Kill family. Lose memory. Get adopted by a rich couple. It all starts."

The best thing about this is the fact that he left his list under his bed. What if he'd set the fire and then realised he'd forgotten what step 2 was?


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Jan. 17th, 2006 05:32 pm (UTC)
I guiltly sniggered a little at the story on carakins LJ about the idiots who posted a hamster.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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