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From the front page of today’s Daily Mail

The draftsmanship of a bored 11 year-old. The deft wit of Jeremy Clarkson on heavy antihistamines. The astute political observation of, well, the Daily Mail. Basically, a triumph.

I don’t know if a hung parliament might be the disaster the right-wing rags want to paint it as, but I do know that even if we as voters wanted to actively avoid it, there’s no clear way to do so. We can only watch and wait and wince.

My job means that I’m not allowed to declare political allegiances, although I feel I can safely state that it’s worth remembering that, while whoever is in power after the election will be faced with making some savage cuts, two of the three main parties will do so reluctantly with an eye to mitigating their worst effects while the third positively relishes them and has no such plans for alleviation.

I’m also pretty sure that it steers clear of the no-stated-allegiance rule to say that whoever takes power is all but guaranteed in the short term to make a colossal shitbortion of the whole thing.

Anyway, none of this need trouble me. I fly out to Norway tomorrow, volcanoes permitting, so I leave you to your fates. So long, suckers!*

* Wait, says here I’m back on Tuesday. Damn!

I had a woman come in who was on the edge of a nervous breakdown. She was talking about civil war and chaos, immigrants coming up the lanes of Sunderland with knives between their teeth to murder her. She was really in a terrible state. I said to her, “What paper do you read, love?” and, of course, it was the Daily Mail. I just said, “Stop reading it and you’ll find life gets better.”

- Chris Mullin MP


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 5th, 2010 03:52 pm (UTC)
Ah, I should vote decisively! And there was me languidly putting down my X like a bloody fop all these years.
May. 5th, 2010 04:00 pm (UTC)
Exactly. A faint wavy line trailing off down the page WILL NO LONGER DO.
May. 5th, 2010 03:56 pm (UTC)
Hahaha - that quote at the bottom, there! I'm still a bit of a floating voter, but I know I'm not floating towards the Tories.
May. 5th, 2010 06:30 pm (UTC)
L Here
It does make me feel like a Scotland football fan rooting for 'anyone but England'

Gary Younge in the Grauniad was great about his visceral and justified hatred of the Tories matched only by the betrayal of the Labour party.

I say 'soil your ballot paper'
May. 5th, 2010 07:47 pm (UTC)
Re: L Here
> soil your ballot paper

Upping the ante from simply spoiling my ballot paper? I'll see how I feel when I'm there.
May. 5th, 2010 07:12 pm (UTC)
When I lived in Sunderland, there were no immigrants running up the lanes with knives between their teeth. Lots of locals doing just that though.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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