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Oct. 28th, 2008

Who would have thought that, of all people, it would be Peter Mandelson who would wind up implicated in a minor scandal involving illicit favours for the super-rich? What kind of crazy, topsy-turvy world has this become? We’re through the looking-glass here, people.

Oh all right, it was as predictable as sunrise, but what did startle me was the swiftness with which his latest appointment as minister was overshadowed by his alleged dodgy dealings. I love the comic timing of it: the European Commission investigates whether Mandelson might have done the Russian schmillionaire a favour when working on trade rules in 2005; he tells it he never met the man till 2006; the commission says “Righto, then you didn’t do anything wrong”; and then almost immediately he has to admit he actually met him in 2004—although he can understand how people had “formed the impression” that he met him in 2006. Also, he hadn’t just popped on board the guy’s yacht for a couple of drinks but was actually staying on it as a guest.

Ultimately, then, even if he truly didn’t intervene to make life easier for someone fabulously well-off—just like he “didn’t” do anything to smooth the way for the Hinduja brothers’ passport application—we are left with the pitiable sight of a man whose overriding instinct is to cling baby-lemur-like to the hide of the wealthy. Like Tony Blair, he seems be a kind of social-climbing hermit crab, forever making other people’s yachts and villas his temporary home.[1] Not for nothing did he assure businessmen that his party was “intensely relaxed about people getting filthy rich”. (I really can’t forgive him for that phrase. No-one should have to picture Peter Mandelson in a state of being “intensely relaxed”, ever.) His sleazy, spivvy moustache may have been obliterated a lifetime ago, but it lives on in his heart.

Incidentally, it’s only fair in the interests of balance that I draw your attention to this short article encapsulating the behaviour of our delightful, egalitarian probable next Chancellor of the Exchequer, self-declared “despicable cvnt”[2] George Osborne.

[1] Please feel free to add any more suitable animals that Lord Mandelson can be readily compared to.

[2] All right, all right, not exactly “self-declared”. But he did say it.


( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 28th, 2008 12:12 pm (UTC)
Is that Boris to his left?
Oct. 28th, 2008 12:18 pm (UTC)
Yes, and Cameron over his right shoulder. After being widely printed in the press a few years ago, this photo is now surprisingly hard to come by online; Cameron's people, and indeed Boris's, have worked hard to minimise its circulation.

It can be found here.
Oct. 28th, 2008 12:27 pm (UTC)
Oh, and it’s just possible, though this is pure speculation, that there has been a gentlemen’s agreement by the Murdoch press not to run that photo—ever since D-Cam took to visiting Rupert Murdoch on his yacht.
Oct. 28th, 2008 12:50 pm (UTC)

EDIT: hahahaha, I know I'm probably way behind, but I hadn't seen that expanded photo of Tony Blair making a rude gesture until just now!

Edited at 2008-10-28 12:52 pm (UTC)
Oct. 28th, 2008 12:29 pm (UTC)
Can you name these guys for me? Are they all famous?
Oct. 28th, 2008 12:45 pm (UTC)
There’s an article here that does just that (scroll down for details), except it does not identify the person standing on Boris’s left. Either the Standard goofed, he wasn’t considered a true member of the club because he couldn’t stump up the required 50 jesus-kabillion pounds or he’s our top spy.
Oct. 28th, 2008 12:49 pm (UTC)
I like the term "hogwhimperingly."
Oct. 28th, 2008 12:59 pm (UTC)
It's the bass player from Duran Duran, he wandered into the shot by mistake.
Oct. 28th, 2008 01:32 pm (UTC)
A comment on the article asserts that the unnamed man is "Simon Deware - nobody talks about him."
Oct. 28th, 2008 04:03 pm (UTC)
I saw that, and indeed when I googled "Simon Deware" the only hit was that page itself.
Oct. 28th, 2008 04:13 pm (UTC)

Or possibly bollocks. One or the other.
Oct. 28th, 2008 04:36 pm (UTC)
In the light of the deafening silence surrounding him I realise that it was lax of me, in my list of possibilities, not to include "possible sex offender".
Oct. 28th, 2008 01:24 pm (UTC)

Oh goddamnit. I was working up such a marvellous head of disapprobation and now I just want to hold him and feed him mango.
Oct. 28th, 2008 04:04 pm (UTC)
Oct. 28th, 2008 04:18 pm (UTC)
Oh come on. How hott is he in those three pictures? You know it.
Oct. 28th, 2008 04:35 pm (UTC)
Oct. 28th, 2008 04:41 pm (UTC)
Presumably a shot from his brief stint as children's entertainer at the European Parliament.
Oct. 28th, 2008 06:10 pm (UTC)
*sigh* You know Peackwater Quad looks so much better without the inbred halfwits. They do look like some terrible 80s themed boy band that didn't make it into the charts.
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )

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