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Keeley Hazell

“Okay, people. The Lynx campaign’s going well. Brand recognition is through the roof, focus groups tell us that women hate the ‘chocolate man’ ad while men love it and we’ve had the obligatory telling-off from the ASA for broadcasting it too early and freaking out the kids. How can we possibly follow that?”

It’s obvious, really. Come up with an associated image so profoundly alarming that pretty much any subsequent campaign will be warmly embraced as a blessed relief by even the most ardent opponent of Lynx’s knowingly sexist ads. Tractors dragging women through muddy streets by their hair? A “pimp for a day” competition? The strapline “They’re Only Worth Talking To If They’re Worth Fucking”? Really, anything is fine so long as we’re never again exposed to this miserable vision:

Three disturbing brand mannequins and lads’ “favourite” Keeley Hazell on a cold damp day by the Thames—the latter having just learnt, judging from her expression, that she has been fined for speeding


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
May. 6th, 2008 10:45 am (UTC)
> that photo was a special gift from me to you!

But it was too good not to share...

Are the other photos as distressing as this one? Does she still look as if she needs about a month's sleep?
May. 6th, 2008 12:44 pm (UTC)
See, the problem is, you're the only man in the world who is looking at her face.
(Deleted comment)
May. 13th, 2008 08:22 pm (UTC)
Thanks, I think.

May. 6th, 2008 10:24 am (UTC)
Are those mannequins really supposed to be miming "Smell my armpit while I look at your t*ts"?

May. 6th, 2008 10:51 am (UTC)
I do generally love the Lynx ads, misogynist that I am, but that chocolate man ad makes me gag.
May. 6th, 2008 11:29 am (UTC)
Is that woman trying to grow a Michael Eavis beard?
May. 6th, 2008 07:58 pm (UTC)
Disturbing question
This one really counts as my "wrong thought verging into serial killer territory" moment of the week:-

If those mannequins are chocolate, does that include their eyeballs?

And you're not the only one who looks at her face. Boy, look at the five o'clock and 3am with no sleep look on her ... she has the face that clearly beer goggles were invented for.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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