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A couple of years ago, j4 posted this about a dream she had had. Her light-hearted reference to a “M*nistry of Dreams” (you’ll see soon enough why I’m censoring it) has had unexpected side effects. The warning shot came in the form of a recent email:
From: janetmck / Janet McKnight stole the name of my ministry on site journal <thiefexposed@alumni.com>
Subject: write janet mcknight and ask her why she stole the name

G0d spoke the name m*nistry of dreams to me and he showed me put do not copy on website and that is higher than patent, but janetmck stole. here it is on her website, and will be on the internet soon: here we see that janetmck / Janet McKnight, j4, stole the name m*nistry of dreams to make it hers when it says do not copy on website, she stole and will release
The complainant, apparently called Bob, runs the M*nistry of Dreams, “a Christian warning ministry for the end times”, where he shares the latest dreams and visions in which G0d has had a word in his shell-like.*

j4, quite reasonably, did not remove her reference to the M*nistry of Dreams. This has made Bob, who appears to have a lot of down-time between visions, very cross. This is a selection of the 25 emails he sent her today; she has posted the full list here.
Subject: jan, Jesus tole me how 2 take u out, loose job,
Subject: do not copy on sites, u saw, fool, hated by all now hater of God
Subject: type into gogle janet mcknght stole the name
Subject: jan, its not funny now is it, how u like being embarrased
Subject: im going to make britain hate u, thief, liar, act like love
Subject: tony blair will see this, and order your site romoved
Subject: you stupid fool, u new better, make me fall, now fall in my place
Subject: visions are in reserve, Ill put back up, and have .com,
Subject: the longer u leave on, the more people find out,
Subject: the biggest fool of britain, I can take your board down now
Subject: appologize, repent, maybe I take down, but, dont have to
Subject: now, what do u think about Jesus the one u stole from,
Subject: u new I was elijah, now, open earth and swollow
Subject: your last waring was given, and u chose ruin, now reap bitch
Subject: ha hah aha, m*nistry of dreams caught o janet mack
Well, he certainly reads like a monomaniacal loon, but then being howling mad is pretty much a prerequisite for being a prophet. Maybe this is what would have happened if Isaiah had had internet access. And since, with the worldwide resurgence in religion, we’re forever being urged to treat people’s wildest beliefs with abiding respect or even reverence, I realise I have no choice but to worship him and his divinely inspired righteousness. All hail Crazy Bob.

* Sample quote:
God has showed me a spirit that looked like putin and he said, “russia will attack”, and I saw this president and he said, “russia will”, and I saw me and I said, “when the economy collapses”, and I saw hollie and she said, “russia”, “will attack”, “pray”, and I saw putin and he said, “can you beat russia”, “when the economy collapses”, “russia will attack”, “america’s trapped now”, “russia will attack”, “witness don’t care”, and I saw gene schmidt and he said, “thats what I need”, and I saw ann and she said, “wonder how he’s trapped”, and I saw this president and he said things like, “I’m bush”, “running out of money”, and I saw putin and he said, “oil”
[Information reproduced by kind permission of the clearly satanic j4.]

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
slightlyfoxed
May. 3rd, 2007 03:55 pm (UTC)
I'm afraid that despite it being quite bewildering and nasty, the textspeak makes him inherently amusing, and I can only read 'Jesus tole me how 2 take u out' as the caption to some kind of fundamentalist cat macro.
alfaguru
May. 3rd, 2007 04:00 pm (UTC)
If anyone annoys you, you can simply create a website in their name using the magic keyphrase and set Bob on them! What larks!
jimyojimbo
May. 3rd, 2007 04:07 pm (UTC)
Interesting that according to that first email, not only does God come to Bob in visions, He gives bad advice on copyright law.
(Deleted comment)
slightlyfoxed
May. 3rd, 2007 04:25 pm (UTC)
Would the scattered commas be his droppings?
webofevil
May. 3rd, 2007 04:27 pm (UTC)
Ah, but would a sentient worm set up a website to help publicise his complaint? Or, indeed, claim to receive visions from God in the first place?
internetsdairy
May. 3rd, 2007 04:29 pm (UTC)
Have we had an AI singularity then?
lebeautemps
May. 4th, 2007 04:19 pm (UTC)
"u new I was elijah, now, open earth and swollow"

I think he's been smoking dope watching LOTR...
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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