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Lord Dear sternly informs the House that he wants parents to be able to withdraw their children from lessons where same-sex marriage is being endorsed, or practised, or where bawdy parodies of traditional marriage are being filmed, or whatever the hell shenanigans these people think are going to go on once the Bill is passed. Anyway, he seems blithely unaware that parents can and do already yank their children out of lessons for any old nonsense. Fifteen years ago my mother was informed frostily by a parent that she was withdrawing her daughter from her GCSE English classes. "Why? It's her exam year!" said my mum incredulously. "Macbeth," replied the Parent-Who-Clearly-My-Lords-Knew-What-Was-Best-For-Her-Child. "It's got witches in it."

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