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“I just served an MP,” said the woman at the till in the canteen. “He said he had one and a half portions of shepherd’s pie, so I charged him for that. But I was a bit suspicious, so afterwards I went and asked the lady who served him. It turns out he asked for two portions, so that’s what he got. Bloody cheek.”

With this elaborate ruse, the honourable gentleman will have saved himself approximately one pound. Obviously this is one of the most footling transgressions imaginable, but at the same time it rather reinforces the impression that they just can’t help themselves when it comes to helping themselves. “I gather that’s what they do with their expenses as well,” I said to her, although on reflection, while it cheered her up, that’s not really a joke you want to find yourself cracking in a restaurant surrounded by MPs.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Jun. 18th, 2008 03:10 pm (UTC)
Stranger Danger
To be fair, it's entirely feasible that he would only have got one and half portions despite asking for two. It's that kind of place, where the habitually genial staff will have looked at him and thought, "No, you fat bastard, you're only getting a tiny upgrade".

And then, of course, there's the risk that even if he had got two portions, his plate would have been cleared by one of God's Special People before he'd finished them anyway. My girlfriend's still steaming about the half a turkey escalope that was whisked out from underneath her fork.

I hate Strangers. The only thing it's got going for it is that it's somehow - God only knows how - not quite as shit as the Lords' Canteen.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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